out of all the words you've said to me, you'd think 'sorry' would've found it's way in there.

I just wanted to take this time out, and be completely honest. I'm nowhere near perfect, perfection is probably one thing that would be impossible for me to conquer. I keep things bottled up, and I don't like people getting to know the weak side of me. I like to feel like I've overcome the things that I've been through. But there's still a lot of nights that I could just lay in bed and cry myself to sleep. No matter how I'm feeling, I paint on a fake smile and let the world believe that I'm the happiest thing ever. Mind you, I'm not always sad. But the days that the past comes and hits me like a bullet to the chest, forcing me to remember it, are the days people still think all is well. They don't know any different. They don't have a clue about the fact that I've basically been forgotten by my own mother. Feeling left out, astray, and abandoned - I will forever keep this smile on my face, the one that maybe one day I will actually believe in.